Conflict is a normal and healthy part of any relationship. Two people can’t be expected to agree on everything all the time. Since relationship conflicts are inevitable, learning to deal with them in a healthy way at work is crucial. By learning the skills you need for successful conflict resolution, you can keep both your personal and professional relationships thriving.
What is conflict? Conflict is a struggle between at least two parties who perceive that they have incompatible goals. Fundamentally, conflict arises from differences–differences in values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences might seem trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal and relational need may be at the core of the problem. It may be a need to feel safe and secure, a need to feel respected and valued, or a need for greater closeness and intimacy.
In the workplace, conflict can arise because employees have diverse points of view and communicate with one another differently. Often, they have established expectations of one another that haven’t been communicated and then subsequently are not met. Successful conflict resolution depends upon your ability to manage stress while remaining alert and calm, controlling your emotions and behavior, paying attention to the feelings being expressed, and being both aware and respectful of differences. Unresolved conflict in the workplace can lead to wasted resources and energy, decreased productivity and morale, poor decision making, and worst of all, a toxic culture.
When we talk about conflict, there are five “styles” or “conflict personalities:” competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. But unlike your personality (which essentially doesn’t change once you’re an adult), we can learn how to use all of these styles and understand how to use them in different situations. Your preferred conflict style is never “good” or “bad,” but if it’s overused or underused, it might be ineffective.
Here are some conflict management Quick Tips:
- Make the relationship your priority.
- Pick your battles.
- Be willing to forgive.
- Know when to let something go.
- Remain calm.
- Deal with only one issue at a time.
- No “hitting below the belt.”
- Avoid accusations.
When we’re able to resolve conflict in a positive way, it results in a flow of more accurate information in our businesses, which can help leaders make better choices. Positive conflict increases understanding and encourages collaboration, leading to a healthier work environment for all.